Marriage has been on my mind lately. The topic seems to be all around me at the moment. Beginnings. Ends. In the middles. The arguments about who should be able to marry are in full force in our society at the moment. It is summer now so there are weddings planned; invitations sent. The media is crazy with the superficial aspects of dresses and celebrities along with the deeper issues of marriage equality for gay and lesbian couples currently standing in front of the supreme court. Love is in the air, for some. And reality is being lived by others. All of this had me wondering. Why is it that I am married? Why is it working for us and not others? How long will this roommate phase last? What are we doing right and what are we doing wrong? So much to contemplate. Blog? I DO!
I went to a dear friend's wedding last weekend. I took my daughter and my husband stayed home with our son. The wedding was gorgeous. Perfect. My gal was stunning and I cried at the sight of it all as I always do at weddings. The way she and her new husband said their vows, planted a tree, and gazed longingly into each others eyes made me wistful. Soul mates. I was there once. My husband and I met in high school and married shortly after. We were ridiculously smitten. I mean that whole, "I can't live without your face!" thing. I thought about our own wedding almost 16 years ago. I was terribly sick with anorexia when Don married me. I can't even bear to look at the few wedding photos we have. I was a ghost of the woman I am now. And my love married me anyway. Throughout the years our relationship as grown and changed. It has evolved. Often instead of gazing into each other's eyes and stealing kisses, we are discussing who is going to pick up which kid and who is going to be able to clean the cat box today. We are, like many others, in the dreaded "roommate phase". I long for that wedded bliss feeling I saw in my friend the other night. The absolute joy and the promise of love to one another always. Although Don and I try very hard to have time to connect, That starting point seems so far away. We quite simply don't have the time to enjoy each others company as adults.
Where do we go from here? Don and I talked last night (while being interrupted by kids needing things). We are still as committed to one another as ever. We genuinely enjoy each others company. We make the other smile and laugh. We just need to make time for us a priority. So, date nights are being prescribed, one night a week. Whether it's for a couple of hours or a whole night. We are doing this. Not only are we making this commitment for ourselves but our children need to see that we care about our relationship. What a gift for them to see that mom and dad actually like being around each other! So a sitter will be found and Don and I will start dating...again.
Some things we plan to do....alone!
Walk through the arboretum
Go to one of the many beaches in our area
Take a ferry boat ride to San Juans
Go to the Brower's Cafe
Explore the Seattle Center (with no kids? Yes!)
Visit the zoo (seriously? Yes!)
Long drives
Check out the new Chihuly Museum
Dress up and visit the Seattle Art Museum
Go thrift shopping (one of our most favorite things to do!)
Have a Photography day
Take a tour of Theo's Chocolate
Visit a Farmer's Markets
Cook a great meal together
Go to the ocean (it's been a while)
Take a Hike
Go to one of the many festivals in our area
Visit our friend's bar
Play tennis (we're terrible but that's part of the fun!)
Stroll through an old cemetery (weird, but that's so us.)
Stroll through the Pike Place Market
Have a picnic
Get up in a hot air balloon ride
Take a train ride
Any suggestions are greatly appreciated!
Live on!
-Kristy
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