And Now I'm Going to Eat Pie

I'm here!  I know.  You've all been wondering where I am.  Where are the posts?  What is happening?!  I've been slacking on the writing I'm afraid.  But I am here...and there; everywhere!  The last couple of weeks have been BUSY!  That is a good thing for me since I was kind of in limbo for a while.  I felt a little lost and unmotivated.  I didn't feel like I had much going on and I was starting to panic.  Apparently I need a certain amount of stress in my life to function.  I had to remind myself that sometimes not having "something" going on, is a good thing.  It is life's little way of saying "Chill the eff out!  RELAX!"  It appears I don't know how to do that very well. 

Now I am back with a full plate (so to speak).  I have been putting in some extra time at work, taking care of the short people who live in my house, and preparing for the next few weeks  The sun has been out and I have been taking time out to get my fingers filthy in the garden, (don't look at my nasty nails) watching the neighborhood kids play, (or try to kill each other.  However you want to look at it) and relaxing with their parents.  I love B.S.ing with grown-ups while the plethora of kids play, cry and make us laugh.  It's been a good start to the spring/summer season.  Bring on the outside world!

The month brings on a bunch of things.  The kids are finishing up school and my daughter is turning 7.  In less than two weeks I will be hosting my own booth at a local Wellness Connection Expo.  I will be speaking, telling my story and talking to the public.  This whole thing has brought up some mixed emotions and thoughts.  I have contacted every single local eating disorder treatment provider I can find in the Western Washington area.  The response was swift and sweet.  NEDA sent me a whole box of information and flare to pass out.  Opal has given me a bunch of goodies.  Vibrant Health has given me info to share as well as The Center for Discovery.  I feel pretty confident that I have enough "stuff".  My fear is doing this alone.  I will be at my own booth talking to the public about a very personal topic.  A sometimes embarrassing topic.  I thought I might have a partner with this but now it looks like I am going solo.  My self-critical mind takes over.  Thoughts of inadequacy flood in.  "What are you doing?!  You are not a professional!  You don't have a degree in this!  You are not a healthcare provider.  What are people going to think?  You should not be doing this."  I fight back with a self-inflicted mind smack.  I should be doing this, and I can do it alone.  I have to remind myself that sometimes people aren't looking for a "professional"  sometimes people are needing to hear from someone who has been in it.  This is a perfect time to show myself what I am capable of and that I am enough just as I am.  I'm educated on the topic.  I can do this. 
 
On another note, I was selected to be a MentorCONNECT mentor.  It was quite a process!  I had to apply and then answer some tough questions.  I have to say I'm very proud to be chosen and I can't wait to get started.  This scares me a little too but I know I have the support of the program and help is always available.  I have been doing a little of this type of work on my own, now I am part of a group which feels pretty dang good.  I also decided at the last-minute to participate in the Seattle NEDA walk.  This year I am not quite as involved as I was previously.  I am taking a backseat and trying not to get too competitive about it, which is really difficult considering I'm the most competitive person I know.  I am am going to do what I can, but not overextend myself too much.  My own recovery, life, happiness and family come first.

Well that's an update.  I'm going to go eat a pie.



Live on!

-Kristy